Life of a TV Addict

Just saw Something Borrowed in theaters.  (To quote River Song:  Spoilers!)  I’ve previously mentioned my thoughts on the book, but needless to say, I was still looking forward to it.  (I’m a sucker for a romantic comedy and John Krasinski’s face.  So sue me.)

Now, the movie was not good.  The lack of goodness was somewhat mitigated by the fact that I was in a theater full of squeeing girls, but despite a few laughs, it was still a bit of a disaster.  The book itself doesn’t translate very well—it’s mostly told in thoughts, exposition, and flashback over an extended period of time where people do nothing and just talk a lot (which in the book is very reminiscent of real life, but in a movie is devastatingly boring and repetitive).  But there was one change the movie made that both made me giddy and broke my heart.

Yes, it all comes back to John Krasinski.  They basically eliminated Rachel’s female lawyer friend from the book and expanded the role of Ethan, her male bff confidante from London.  He quite enjoyably acts as the reader/viewer, commenting on how screwed up everything is, all with that trademark Jim Halpert sass.

As previously mentioned, all I wanted to happen throughout my reading of Something Borrowed was for Rachel to get the heck over indecisive Dex and hook up with Ethan.  The book never crossed that line (barely even hinted there was a line there to cross), but then…the movie went there!  It was like the fan fic I meant to write on the movie screen!  And yet, if this were not based on a book and were a true romantic comedy, that would be where the movie ends:  Rachel bemoaning that she is no one’s first choice and Ethan telling her, quite honestly, that she is someone’s first choice—she’s his first choice—and then music would swell and they would kiss and everything would be perfect.  For one beautiful, paralyzing moment, I thought they were going to do it…and then the moment broke and Rachel turned him down and boy, I haven’t been that sad since Winona Ryder tore Christian Bale’s heart to pieces in Little Women.

I guess what makes me sad about them fan fic-ing is that it adds an extra layer of bitterness to the proceedings that was wholly unnecessary.  Ethan does not get his first choice (rather, for all of his support and common sense, he gets nothing but heartache).  Rachel gets her first choice, but only after he drags his feet and rips apart her friendship with Darcy.  Dex gets everything—he is the first choice for two women and is good either way.  And Darcy gets…well, she gets pregnant and that’s a whole different story.

It’s messy and in the book, there was a sort of satisfaction in the mess.  But the movie was choppy, disjointed, flat, and unsympathetic except for the one character (Ethan) whose heart got ripped out without balm.

I suppose it comes down to two points:

1.  DON’T MAKE JOHN KRASINSKI SAD.

2.  Next time I’m going to see Thor.